Yearbook Pictures

This is the cover of today's Washington Post. Something about these pictures (Obama meeting world leaders for the Nuclear Security Summit) reminds me of senior prom pictures.

What these senior prom pictures are telling me:

(From the top to the bottom, left to right)

Nicolas Sarkozy of France is Obama's best friend. They keep joking around and sharing stories about their dates. In this picture Sarkozy is saying "You will not believe what my date just did in the parking lot..."

Poor Angela Merkel of Germany must have conservative parents and so she and Obama can't get too close when they dance. They have to resort to dancing a traditional Greek dance.

Obama accepts the prom king title from the principal of the school, Hu Jintao from China

"Class of 2010, I introduce to you your new prom king and queen: Obama and Cristina Fernandez of Argentina!!"

Obama points out to the parental chaperon, Ahmed Aboul Gheit of Egypt, the students who spiked the punch.

Here's the awkward foreign exchange student, Silvio Berlusconi from Italy, that doesn't understand social boundaries. Here he is telling Obama, "You know, you're way more tanned than I thought!"

Obama poses for a picture with his favorite teacher, Manmohan Singh of India. Obama really appreciates all the letters of recommendation Mr. Singh wrote for him.

Obama generously offers to dance with the first chair flutist in the school band, Tarja Halonen of Finland, that came stag.

Obama runs into his ex, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva of Brazil. Obama still very much loves Lula, and it's hard for him to let him go. But Lula has moved on.

Obama shows Viktor Yanukovych of Ukraine the door, after he was kicked out of the prom for spiking the punch.

Finally, Obama has the special last dance with his date, Lee Myung-bak of South Korea. Aww. "Let's never forget each other," they say after one last embrace.

This Show Needs to be Made

The New Yorker had a piece about two producers that are trying to get a Russian-American equivalent of Jersey Shore picked up. The show is called "Brighton Beach" (as in the Russian enclave in Brooklyn. You remember Edward Norton's racist monologue from 25th Hour -- "Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach, mobster thugs sittings in cafes, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth."). In the article the two producers discuss their ideas for the show.

Posted on their ["Brighton Beach"] Facebook page [is] a picture of a klatsch of fur-clad women. "Classic BB - babushkas chillin' on skameyechkas," the caption read. One of the prospective show's 3,954 fans wrote, "Blyat, I'm SO EXCITED for this."

This sure gets me excited for the show. I for one am totally looking forward to seeing an alkash and a bolvan get derganyy over a goluboy zhrat borscht. Who's with me?!

The producers said they are looking for certain archetypes [in terms of casting for the show]:

"A very straightforward ethnic Russian who's proud of the motherland," a Russian Jew, someone from the Caucasus. "We want to, in some way, create a microcosm of the former Soviet Union in the house."

Are you for real? These are not "archetypes" that the average American is going to recognize (let alone the crowd that watches Jersey Shore). It's not like Real World archetypes where there's the gay guy; the girl from a conservative, religious family that claims to have never met a gay person before; the guy with the 'roid rage that also has an alcohol problem and gets sent home early for fighting, etc. Viewers aren't going to watch and say, "Oh that's definitely the guy from The Caucasus. It's so obvious. I can definitely predict what path he'll be taking in this house..." I doubt many of the viewers will know what or where The Caucasus region is. Very few Americans are going to be able to differentiate those cast members. I doubt I'll be hearing many viewer discussions like this, "What a huge surprise, the Georgian and the Muscovite are fighting over who gets to have the master bedroom. So typical. And don't even get me started on how the Ukrainian house mate is feeling inferior and demanding everyone speak Ukrainian. She looked so angry, I thought she was going to poison someone! I'm so excited for next week's episode -- it looks like the Muscovite is demanding that everyone has to pay more rent and the Ukrainian gets so mad she threatens to cut off the power. And the Kosovar keeps threatening to leave and start his own show. And the Chechen is not looking too happy, as usual...Drama!" (There's some geopolitical humor for you. You're welcome). I imagine it will more be like, "And then this Russki got mad at that Russki. And then that other Russki was drinking vodka. And then another Russki was dancing to euro techno with that sleazy Russki."

The producers do not yet have a deal to make the show, but, so far, they have received hundreds of audition videos. "Yesterday someone posted a twenty-two-minute-long tape. He was showing off his Russian motorcycle, and his mom kept interrupting. He went downstairs to show us his dad, and his dad's like, 'Get the fuck out of here.' Then he drove to his grandparents' house, and they tried to sneak candy into his pockets." ... Russians, the producers said, put a lot of stickers on their cars. They bring cash to weddings, not blenders. "A lot of people we've seen have two unrelated jobs, like an optometrist and a d.j."

I definitely need more Russian friends...

The producers talking about how to decorate the house in "Brighton Beach":

"A lot of Russian homes are very modern -- not like, Design Within Research modern but Euro-doesn't-really-go-well-together modern."

I absolutely love that quote. That's definitely my new favorite kind of "modern".

The family-planning policies of the former Soviet Union, Diznik pointed out, promised a high-drama environment: "Put a bunch of only children together in a room, and everyone thinks they're the most important."

I repeat, this show absolutely needs to be made.

Bart Stupak

Representative Bart Stupak (D-MI) reported that he's retiring after 18 years in Congress. He said he's retiring because he felt his main legislative goal -- a national health care overhaul -- was accomplished. In regards to that health care overhaul he accomplished, you might actually remember him as the abortion guy that was initially responsible for holding up health care reform in the House and made progressive Democrats mad. Then he eventually dropped his ridiculous reservations and sided with the Dems and voted for the reform, making conservatives mad. Pretty much everyone was mad at him at some point.

Heather: He's probably retiring because everyone was mad at him and he's worried they're going to make campaign signs against him that say "Bart Stupak...more like Stu-pid!" BOOM!

Eagan: ...I think we know who has a future as a political strategist.

Heather: I thought so myself!

Here's Stupak serving on the How to Cup and Grope Testicles Subcommittee

Oh I just thought of another great idea to put in my political strategist portfolio: "Bart Stupak: It's not a coincidence that his initials are B.S." I'm way too good at this.

Overheard

I overheard both of these conversations yesterday:

Two twenty-something girls on the metro, talking to each other

Girl: I mean, he was looking at me like I had a third head!

I think a second head would be just as shocking...

---

At the Tidal Basin, which is right in front of the Jefferson Memorial

Twenty-Something Guy to Friends: Do you guys want to go to the Jefferson Memorial?

Twenty-Something Girl: Is that the one with the guy sitting down?

Twenty-Something Guy: Yeah.

I love that the guy said yeah. Now, I don't expect people to necessarily identify every memorial correctly. I know the Jefferson Memorial isn't as well-known (it's not right off the Mall like a lot of the other memorials; which means not as many people walk over there). Plus, both the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials have columns in front. That might get people mixed-up (and if so, they're going to be really confused about a lot of buildings in DC).

Jefferson Memorial

vs.

Lincoln Memorial

But, correct me if I'm wrong, I was under the impression that the Lincoln Memorial is kind of an iconic memorial; one that is ingrained in American minds from history class and history books (Martin Luther King gave his "I Have a Dream" speech in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Marian Anderson sang in front of the Lincoln Memorial. To name a few). Not to mention the fact that the Lincoln Memorial is stamped on the back of the penny (with Lincoln on the other side; as if that's not obvious enough). Even more iconic is Abraham Lincoln himself -- both in terms of his historical impact and the way he looked. Ridiculously tall, skinny guy with a kind of funny face and a beard. So I would think the ingrained image in your mind of "that guy sitting down" would also include that ingrained image of that unusual looking president. And you would realize it's Lincoln sitting down -- and Lincoln would not be sitting down in Jefferson's Memorial.

vs.

Furthermore, these people were at the Tidal Basin, within eyesight of the Jefferson Memorial. From where they were standing, you can see Jefferson in the center of the memorial, and he is standing. Thomas Jefferson was also an iconic president (just ask the nickel!), but I know less people probably know what he looked like compared to Lincoln. But I can't imagine too many people get images of Jefferson and Lincoln mixed up.

vs.

Anyway, that's just my two cents (which would be two coins with the Jefferson Memorial on the back, right?)

This Will Definitely Work

Fox is potentially going to pick up a reality project called "My Parents Are Gonna Love You." The premise of the show is that participants will be everyday, average singles who will bring home celebrity fiancés to meet their parents. The longer the "couple" can pull off the prank, the more money the contestant wins (and I think the family wins money too).

It's from the same producers that brought us those wonderful gems Joe Millionaire, Temptation Island, and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé. The premise of this new show actually sounds quite similar to the premise of My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé -- where an everyday, average single girl had to convince her family she was marrying someone she actually wasn't, all for money. And the Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé turned out to be an actor. And he went on to play Joe the Bartender in Grey's Anatomy. Anyway, MBFOF involved an actor that no one knew to be an actor, including the girl he was fake-marrying -- that was the 'beauty' of it. This new show is based on the premise that the single person is bringing home a known celebrity. But what I'm wondering is what celebrity is going to be involved in this show? What celebrity is going to be desperate enough to be on this show? I can see it now:

Average Single Person: Mom and Dad, I want you to meet my fiancé.

Mom & Dad: Pleased to meet you, son.

ASP: It's Dustin Diamond!

M&D: Well, nice to meet you Dustin.

ASP: No, Dustin Diamond. Like from Saved by the Bell.

M&D: ...

ASP: Celebrity Boxing 2?

M&D: ...

ASP: Celebrity Fit Club 5?

M&D: ...

ASP: The stand-up comedian? Chess player? Appeared in a sex tape?

M&D: ...Well, I'm sure he's a nice man.

ASP: Fuck this, I quit. It's not worth it.

The premise of the show should actually be convincing your parents that the "celebrity" you're supposedly engaged to is in fact a celebrity.

Here's some previews for other episodes:

ASP: Mom, I'm engaged! To Corey Feldman! You know, from The Goonies...Lost Boys...Stand by Me...License to Drive...The 'Burbs...
Mom: Oh The 'Burbs! I love that Tom Hanks. But I don't remember this guy. Who did he play in relation to Tom?

ASP: This is my fiancé, Gary Coleman

Dad: Honey, do you need some money or help or something? Your mother and I are willing to help you out if you're in trouble. You don't need to do this.

ASP: Mom and Dad, I want you to meet my fiancée, Wendy Kaufman

M&D: The Snapple Lady?!

ASP: I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Stephen Baldwin.

Mom: Damn, it's the wrong Baldwin brother.

ASP: Mom and Dad, this is my fiancée, Omarosa

M&D: Does she have a last name?

Omarosa: Oh, hell no! I don't need a last name. I have instant name recognition. I was on The Apprentice AND The Celebrity Apprentice. I know you're not insinuating that you don't know me because I'm a strong, educated African-American woman. I was on The Surreal Life!

M&D: ...

Omarosa: That's it, I'm done. I don't need to be a part of this amateur hour. It's getting too racist up in here. I'm Omarosa. You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

I don't know what that question mark is doing there. And there's nothing secret about those.

2012 Olympics Logo

I liked this critique of London's [completely ugly and 80's looking] 2012 Olympics logo:

Garish colors, aggressive shapes, and dodgy [the British love that word, don't they?] typography were just a few of its design crimes. Some thought it looked like a swastika. Others spotted Lisa Simpson doing something unmentionable [as seen here]. The animated version caused seizures among some people with a particular type of epilepsy... I wish I could say that the London 2012 logo has grown on me, as the organizers predicted, but it hasn't. Everyone else I've asked feels the same -- designers and "civilians" alike. Far from being "ahead of its time," it looks increasingly like the graphic equivalent of what we Brits scathingly call "dad dancing," namely a middle-aged man who tries so hard to be cool on the dance floor that he fails.

The logo reminds me of the imagery during the Saved by the Bell opening credits.

Vocabulary

The New York Times had an interesting piece on how people put some much value and attention into having a large vocabulary.

In the years since, we English speakers have become only more concerned with the size and quality of our own personal word hoards. We seem to be under the impression that a small vocabulary is one of those things, like bad teeth or poor manners, that can hold us back in life... Yet before you set aside that copy of "Goodnight Moon" in favor of reading to your progeny from Merriam-Webster in the evening, consider that it is not simply the number of words but also how they are used that is important. Most famous quotations, for instance, are not full of polysyllabic Latinisms. Brandishing 25-cent words unnecessarily will mark you as a blowhard, not an effective communicator. Winston Churchill's oft-repeated statement about how he had nothing to offer but "blood, toil, tears and sweat" would have elicited nothing but puzzlement had he replaced that quartet of short nouns with the synonyms "vermeil", "moiling", "delacrimation", and "sudorification."

This made me think of the sociologist Howard S. Becker and his 'plain style' of writing. He urges social scientists (and other academics) to write with clarity and make their work accessible. Too often academic writers fall into the trap of academic elitism, where they believe using big words and overly-technical language will show how smart and knowledgeable they are. It's believed that the more difficult the writing style, the more intellectual one sounds. Becker stated that these writers like to emphasize their "esoteric expertise". They write as if their audience knows almost as much about the subject as they do, and they do not explain things or make things clear.

Readers and students often fall into this trap as well -- where they're socialized to believe that people that use big words or a difficult writing style are smart (and, thus, this should be the method of choice). In his book, Writing for Social Scientists, Becker relayed what a grad student had told him. The student said, "Somewhere along the line, probably in college, I picked up on the fact that articulate people used big words, which impressed me. I remember taking two classes from a philosophy professor simply because I figured he must be really smart since I didn't know the meaning of the words he used in class. My notes from these classes are almost non-existent. I spent class time writing down the words he used that I didn't know, going home and looking them up. He sounded so smart to me simply because I didn't understand him." Not understanding what the teacher was saying was being mistaken for as a sign of intelligence (and no doubt, the teacher was probably intelligent; but, a great teacher makes their knowledge accessible, and actually teaches a student and gets through to them. This professor's teaching style doesn't sound all that effective if what this grad student mostly took from the class was new Scrabble words...). As a result of this importance put on big words and complicated writing styles, readers or students believe that if they don't understand the writing or what is being said, it's because it is above their head; they're not smart enough to understand it. When in actuality, the fault lies with the writer/teacher. A smart writer knows how to explain their work and make it accessible.

Howard Becker said, "Authors try to give substance and weight to what they wrote by sounding academic, even at the expense of their real meaning." He said that sociologists "habitually use twenty words where two will do" and that scholars often use unnecessary words because they think that if they "say it plainly it will sound like something anybody could say rather than the profound statement only a social scientist could make." He advised that you can write clear -- without having to replace any technical sociological language -- by replacing redundancies, "fancy writing", and "pompous phrases" (which, Becker says, you can substitute for more straight-forward language, "without losing anything but pretentiousness." Oh snap). Becker advocates replacing anything that can be simplified without damage to the thought.

And he's a jazz pianist. How dreamy.