Sunday, October 9, 2011

Have You No Shame, New Yorker? Pt. 2

Remember the last installment of this, where I gave examples from New Yorker profiles where the writers had fairly unflattering things to say about the individuals featured in the piece? Well, here's some more!

*Rankin is thirty-eight, six feet tall, and broad in the beam. He has a high forehead and wears large eyeglasses, which together give the appearance that he is always about to ask politely if you've got a minute.

*In Baylor's lab-coated corridors, he wears designer jeans and square-toed ankle boots, and walks with a bounce in his step that's suspiciously close to a strut, like Pinocchio heading off to Pleasure Island.

*On the outskirts of Oxford lives a brilliant and distressingly thin physicist named David Deutsch... In the half-light of the winter sun, Deutsch's house looked a little shabby. The yard was full of what appeared to be English ivy, and near the entrance was something twiggy and bushlike that was either dormant or dead...His thinness contributed to an oscillation of his apparent age between nineteen and a hundred and nineteen. (He's fifty-seven.) His eyes, behind thick glasses, appeared outsized, like those of an appealing anime character. His vestibule was cluttered with old phone books, cardboard boxes, and piles of papers.

*A hefty fellow of fifty-four -- with a face as round and frank as a full moon, set off by scholarly spectacles...

But this cute cover makes up for it, right?

*Zadran, who is in his late sixties, is an extraordinary-looking man, with a face like something devised by a Claymation animator. At the meeting, he wore a black turban topped with a flamboyant cloth fan and trailing a yard-long train. He has a horizontal stripe of eyebrows dyed jet black, a great proboscis, a handlebar mustache, and bassetlike jowls. His ears are massive, resembling dried apricots loosely attached to the sides of his head.

*For those whose picture of [Clarence] Thomas remains frozen at the time of his confirmation hearings, in 1991, the Justice is today a startling sight. His jet-black hair has gone almost completely white. He has gained a great deal of weight. (An injury long ago ended his days on the "highest court in the land," the basketball court on the top floor of the Supreme Court building.) His gait is weary, and he looks older than his sixty-three years.

*Nilekani has a round face, as if reflected in the back of a spoon, and the wry, detached manner of someone so taken by visions of the future that the present seems too mundane to merit his full attention. Although he is often persuasive, he is not always eloquent; sentences often fall away to phrases like "the branding thingy." He is known as a great salesman, but he sells softly, blithely, by making it seem almost an imposition to have to explain the benefits of his product.

*Mountainously built, with a broad face surrounded by a mossy underbeard and rootlike dreadlocks, Lanier has an imposing presence that nonetheless comes off as oddly fluttery. He tends to talk in breathless bursts, and he often defuses his inflammatory remarks by allowing his voice to rise into a register that is more often reserved for talking to pets or small children. This can give listeners the impression that he is lecturing to a three-year-old while walking up a steep hill.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sam Cooke - How Far Am I From Canaan?

It's a Sam Cooke kind of day.



I've been reading Isabel Wilkerson's book The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration (an excellent book), and it has me on a serious gospel music kick.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Huh

This ad just appeared on my facebook page:






If this ultrasound tech degree offerer (yeah, that's a word...) thinks that's how babies are born (a giant hand delivers four babies at a time...or a regular-sized hand delivers four mini babies at a time), or if they believe that's what you see when you get an ultrasound...then I'm definitely applying to be accepted into their program.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Patton Oswalt

An excerpt from Patton Oswalt's recent interview with the A.V. Club:

Patton: So, I came to this weird realization, reading about what's going on in Africa and the Sudan and stuff like that, that I don't hate any music. Or at least, I don't hate the motivations behind it. And a lot of people are like, "Oh, those guys are doing this shitty music so they can money and pussy." Yeah, but do you know what people do to get money and pussy on this planet? Really horrible things. Like, they do horrifying things to get money and pussy and power. So, if Nickelback wants to sing "Photograph," they decide to do that instead of forming a cult and killing people, it's hard for me to get angry at that. You're like, "Hey, good for them." ... Every time a hipster bitches about Nickelback, they should send money to the Red Cross, just to go, "Hey, look, I'm sorry that I spent one minute going off about Ke$ha and Nickelback. They're not the best people on the planet, but I probably could've used that time better." Ke$ha should do an ad for Doctors Without Borders going, "Hey guys, have at it. Rip my music apart. But every time you do it, just send a quarter to Doctors Without Borders."


Interviewer: The A.V. Club and it commenters would be sending a lot of money there.

Patton: Oh my god, can you imagine how much money you guys could make if any time somebody wanted to write something negative about Dane Cook or Ke$ha, or anything, they had to pay? It's a pay-to-complain site. Think of some kind of algorithm that can tell if you're writing something positive. You can write that stuff for free. But if you want to write something negative, you have to open a PayPal account. Oh my god, you could wipe out third world debt with one article about Jim Belushi. [Note: That Jim Belushi line made me laugh out loud]

Interviewer: I think you're onto something here.

Patton: Oh my god. I would have to owe, like $500,000.

Interviewer: I wrote a huge article about how terrible Ke$ha is, so I'd probably be out quite a few bucks myself.

Patton: Yeah, your great-grandkids would be born in debt.

[Note: I had the hardest time typing out "Ke$ha". Using that dollar sign instead of an "s" completely threw me off. I kept typing Ke$sha. My mind would just not accept that the dollar sign was the "s". It's like how my mind could not bring itself to accept the phrase "butt hurt". It just sounds so wrong. Kids these days!]

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

John Hodgman on Bookstores

I love John Hodgman. (Not liking the facial hair, though).


Jon Stewart: There's stuff bookstores can do, that the internet can't.

John Hodgman:  Oh, you mean like shelter the homeless?
...

Jon Stewart: What about the human element? Bookstores build a personal relationship with their customers you simply cannot get from a computer. There are employee interactions, employee recommendations.

John Hodgman: Oh, yes. Yes, thank you. Employee picks. Thank you, pudgy neck beard counter guy for cluing me in to Philip K. Dick. Again. What's the matter, are you sold out of Confederacy of Dunces this week? Ha ha! Up high, Jon! Literature slam! I got him!
But you do raise a good point, Jon. Bookstores employ a very special class of condescending nerds. These are the types that used to work at video stores before they went under.

JS: Where were they before that?

JH: Record stores, obviously. It's been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica.

JS: I'm not sure I understand.

JH: No. Well, *you* wouldn't.

JS: You seem to hate bookstore employees.

JH: Oh, I loathe them, Jon. They shunt my books under humor, Jon. Not witticism, as I asked. I ask you, do I look like Marmaduke to you?


Monday, August 15, 2011

Just What I Was Looking For!

Yes! In an article about Germany debating the costs of the eurozone, I found this gem:


I can't get enough of these adorable Merkel-Sarkozy pictures!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Objects: Venice Sketchbook

A great find in a secondhand bookstore in DC. Venice Sketchbook by Huck Scarry is filled with watercolors, pencil sketches, and journal entries. Interesting trivia: He is the son of the famous children's author/illustrator Richard Scarry (Huck's real name is Richard Scarry, Jr. You might remember that Huck is the nickname of Huckle Cat, a famous Busytown character -- which I assume is the inspiration for Richard Jr.'s pseudonym).










Friday, August 12, 2011

Sad Songs

Remember how I was just talking about sad songs? Well, here's another!

Kathleen Edwards - Alicia Ross

This song isn't just sad, it's devastating. Kathleen Edwards is no stranger to writing (gorgeous) sad songs, but this one has an extra deep level of sadness because it's based on a real life person. Alicia Ross was a 25-year-old from Canada that went missing and the investigation got a lot of media attention. Her next door neighbor eventually turned himself in for killing her. This song gives me some serious chills.





I am a girl with a forgettable face
And no matter my color, no matter my name
At work there is a boy and he treats me well
And my old friends from high school, well I see them around

And August is here. I can't believe how fast
And soon there will be winter and snow on the ground
And maybe by then I could get my own place, closer to the city if that's ok

Mama, can you feel me as I dragged on my day's last cigarette?
He pulled me so hard off my very own backdoor steps
And he lay me in his garden, all the years I've watched him tend
And then he took me, mama, so I could never tell you about it

And inside of this moment there are things that I wish I could know
Like your ring size, and my ring size, the hour I was born, and my dad's middle name, and your favorite song...
Was your darkest day as dark as this one?

Mama, can you feel me as I dragged on my day's last cigarette?
He pulled me so hard off my very own backdoor steps
And he lay me in his garden, all the years I've watched him tend
And then he took me, mama, so I could never tell you about it

Now I'm a girl who's face they'll never forget


(I love the outro)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

This Seems Sufficiently Awkward

I thought the height difference between Christina Ricci and her ex was substantial...that was before I saw Shaq with his girlfriend (Nikki, aka Hoopz, from Flavor of Love  -- What? Her and Flavor Flav didn't last?!). He's 7'1", she's 5'2". Pretty much a two foot difference! This picture blows my mind:

Knee high socks for him would be a pair of pants for her

Friday, August 5, 2011

Noooo!

The Cincinnati CityBeat interviewed Nate Query, the bass player for The Decemberists:
CB: There have been other mixed reports that I have been reading that you guys may be taking a very long break. Is there any truth to that? 
NQ: We're going to be taking a long break. We don’t have an end (to the hiatus) completely settled, but we were talking like three years or something like that, which is a pretty long time. Many bands take that long to put a record out, but we are making it kind of a break where we are not planning on doing shows together or anything. We are letting everybody focus on other stuff. We usually take a break in between records, but a lot of times we end up doing a few shows here or there in the summer. We're trying to make it more of a real hiatus and let everybody go to their own little corner and do their own stuff for a little bit.

Crushworthy

Ryan Gosling

I'm not really all that into "pretty boys". That's not to say I'm only digging on ugly or "quirky" people. But, I don't seem to like (in a physical way) those guys that 45-year-old mothers would also say is "a hunk". You know, like the Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise types. Or the types that play Thor and Captain America. I'm not a huge fan of big o'l muscles. I'm ok with toned muscles (i.e., you can see they do in fact have the trace of a muscle somewhere in there), but not POW! muscles that punch you in the face. Ok, this is already feeling too ridiculous and I feel like I'm at a middle school slumber party... With that said, I guess one of the few "pretty boys" that make my Crushworthy list is Ryan Gosling. And maybe his tendency to be in indie films (instead of movies where he's riding on a motorcycle alongside Vin Diesel) makes me like him more (despite those muscles). Before he was winning the hearts of pre-Alzheimer's ladies, he was doing an excellent job as a neo-nazi Jew! The Believer, United States of Leland, Half Nelson, Lars and the Real Girl, Blue Valentine...the guy picks some good movies.

I hereby present to you the evolution of Ryan Gosling:

I actually first developed a crush on Ryan when we were both kids. He was on the Mickey Mouse Club. He was part of the cohort that included Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera. True, I did have more of a crush on Justin than Ryan, but I still had a crush on Ryan. I was boy craaaazy at that age!
I remember those vests...

Then he turned into a scrawny, wiry adolescent (don't we all?). He was on that Canadian show Breaker High where he played an annoying guy. He didn't really do much for me then.

Then I saw him in that movie Murder by Numbers, and he seemed more grown up. He was still a little thing, but his voice was lower and he exuded confidence and charm (as an egotistical teenager that murders people for fun...). Definitely more mature now. And my interest was a little piqued.

Then I saw The Believer and I thought, "Holy shit, where did those muscles come from?" At the time, he seemed so much more grown up in this movie...but looking back on the pictures (in comparison to what he looks like now) he still looks pretty young and not very muscular. But, trust me, at the time The Believer came out, it seemed like a big transformation.

Then when he was in The Notebook and I barely even recognized him. It was like a Barry Bonds transformation.

And then he just got so damn charming and daper.


Not exactly a dapper picture, but I posted it because he's so fucking cute with his dog. 

Oh yeah, did I mention Ryan's halloween-themed band, Dead Man's Bones?


But now he's in this most recent movie with Steve Carell, and he doesn't have a shirt, and he's way too muscular. Disapprove.

Megan Rapinoe

Ok, that Ryan Gosling one was long enough. Like stalker-level long enough. So I'll keep this short. Megan Rapinoe is soccer player on the U.S. Women's National Team. She is an amazing player and had a really great World Cup. She was the one that beautifully assisted Abby Wambach's goal in the 122nd minute against Brazil (in stoppage time of overtime). One of the greatest moments in soccer, in my opinion. She also took (and made) one of the penalty kicks in the shootout at the Brazil game. Soccer-playing abilities aside, she was also quite famous for her hair during the World Cup. And it is indeed quite awesome. Her fantastic soccer skills (yes, that's a turn on), her sense of humor, and her god damn cuteness factor makes her totally someone I would do.



Saturday, July 30, 2011

I Was a Kaleidoscope

Rorsch Map is a really addicting site for me. It takes Google Map images and turns them into kaleidoscope pictures. You enter a location in (as specific or broad as you want), and then morph it to your liking (e.g., zoom in/out, move it up/down, drag it in/out, etc). I'm a big fan of aerial pictures and the organized patterns of streets and buildings, so I can't say I'm surprised this became a huge consumer of my time. I love the geometric designs.

Here are some images I created while messing around (Note: As they're kaleidoscopic pictures, you'll notice they are mirror-images and not an exact replica of what the city looks like. Also, while zooming out from a picture, it might be that the location is no longer in the city bounds. But I listed the city name that was my starting point):

Vancouver (Look at the shadows created from the buildings)
St. Catharines (for Emma!)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

If It's The Beaches

The climatic scene from The Champ, with Ricky Schroder crying over his father, is (scientifically) considered the saddest movie scene. It's the scene, used in a laboratory setting, that elicits the most sadness. Even more so than the scene in which Bambi's mom dies. Psychologists often use the clip from The Champ to get participants sad in order to study the effects of sadness (e.g., one study found that people are more likely to spend money when they are sad).

Researchers say it's a good scene because it produces one dominant emotion. Some suggestions for sad movie scenes were eliminated because they elicit a mixture of emotions like sadness AND anger. So I guess that's probably why my go-to heartbreaking scene from Steel Magnolias didn't make the cut. It's too complex. There's sadness, anger ("I just want to hit something!"), and it even makes you smile at the end ("Take a whack at Ouiser!"). That's right, it's too complex for you lab rats! (Also, I wouldn't be surprised if psychologists wouldn't want to use it because some male participants probably would be too stubborn to cry at Steel Magnolias. Because it's a girrrrl movie. Whereas, macho guys maybe allow themselves to cry when it comes to sports movies. Like Brian's Song. So maybe The Champ is universally crying-acceptable).

You might think that I will now discuss what movie scenes I think are the saddest. And while I do have a list of obvious contenders (i.e., movies where people die: Steel Magnolias, Beaches, Terms of Endearment, Boys on the Side...I've talked about these before) and not-necessarily-so-obvious contenders (i.e., scenes -- or moments in scenes -- that aren't necessarily sad, but they make me sad. Like in Almost Famous when William says to his sister's boyfriend -- as they're packing up to move away -- "take good care of her....man." And it's how he insecurely inserts the "man" at the end in order to sound cool. He's going to miss his sister and he's looking for approval from his sister and her boyfriend. And the boyfriend just rolls his eyes and laughs. That always breaks my heart a little), I'm not actually going to be discussing sad movie scenes for this post.

While the article did make me think about sad movies scenes, it then evolved into me thinking about sad songs. And while I was compiling a list in my head of sad songs, a sad song actually started playing on my itunes in the background (further proof that my itunes/ipod is sentient). And that's the point of this whole entry, to present this sad song. This sad song about not accepting that your significant other doesn't want to be with you anymore, and you're begging them to not end it, and that you promise you'll be someone that they want.

The Avett Brothers - If It's The Beaches


(The creator of this video took the 'beach' part of the song and ran with it...)

Don't say it's over, 'cause that's the worst news I could hear
I swear that I will do my best to be here just the way you like it
Even though it's hard to hide, push my feelings all aside
I will rearrange my plans and change for you
If I could go back, that's the first thing I would do
I swear that I would do my best to follow through
Come up with a master plan, a homerun hit, a winning stand
A guarantee, and not a promise, that I'll never let your love slip from my hands
If it's the beaches...if it's the beaches' sands you want, then you will have them
If it's the mountains' bending rivers, then you will have them
If it's a wish to run away, then I will grant it
Take whatever you think of, while I go gas up the truck
Pack the old love letters up, we will read them when we forget why we left here

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Indigenous Women's Soccer

I love these pictures (from Reuters) of an indigenous women's soccer game in El Alto, Bolivia.






Yeah, I'm going through some serious World Cup withdrawals...

Love It

Phyllis Siegel and Connie Kopelov embrace after getting married. They were the first gay couple to marry at Manhattan's City Clerk's Office.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Amy Winehouse

A brilliant marriage of classic soul, R&B, and jazz with modern pop music. Think what you will of Amy Winehouse as a person, but this girl was talented. From Amy's songwriting abilities, Mark Ronson's amazing producing skills, and Amy's distinct contralto vocals, Back to Black was a fantastic album. What a tragedy that Amy Winehouse's demons (seemingly) got the best of her. She was only 27.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Let Me Count the Ways

In a recent interview with Entourage creator Doug Ellin, Tina Fey was brought up:

Did you read Tina Fey's anecdote in her book Bossypants, about pumping breast milk to episodes of Entourage?
Tina had a great line to me and [Entourage producer] Rob Weiss at the Emmys four years ago. We were like, "You're just gonna beat us every year, huh?" And she looked at us deadpan and said, "Yeah, but I'm sure you guys get more pussy than I do."

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It's All in the PR


Medical Marijuana Show Premieres on Discovery Channel This Fall


"Weed Wars" profiles the challenges of running a medicinal cannabis dispensary in California.


I think one of the reasons why medical marijuana dispensaries have such a hard time getting any sort of legitimacy or credit is because it seems like they're all run by people that look like this...

(Though it does sound like an interesting show.)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Advice to Little Girls

Vladimir Radunsky has wonderfully illustrated Mark Twain's 1865 children's story "Advice to Little Girls". I love it!






I'm Crossing You In Style Some Day

Ever since living here, I have been watching more "classics" movies thanks to the AFI theatre playing retrospectives. There's tons of old(er) movies I've been meaning to see for a while, but never get around to it. Having the opportunity to see some of these classics projected on the big screen gives me that extra motivation to finally see them. It's a great way to experience these movies for the first time.

Last night was my first time seeing Breakfast at Tiffany's. Audrey Hepburn was so damn adorable and charming (and oh how I loved her style). Mickey Rooney's Asian "impression" was way worse than I thought it was going to be (which is saying a lot) -- thank god he didn't really have a large role in the film. And Cat nearly stole the show for me. Oh, and Moon River! (Moon River always makes me think of Big). And Jets to Brazil! My favorite part of the movie is when Holly and Paul (or "Fred") go around the city and do things they've never done before.

I seriously love that Cat is in between them

Monday, July 11, 2011

As Long as it's Talking With You, Talk of the Weather Will Do

Goodbye outside world, you're dead to me tomorrow.



Overview
Details
Time
Condition
Feels Like
Chance Precip
Humidity
Wind
Tuesday, July 12

1 pm
Mostly
95°F
Mostly Sunny
103°F
10%
44%
From W
10 mph

2 pm
Mostly
97°F
Mostly Sunny
104°F
10%
40%
From W
10 mph

3 pm
Mostly
98°F
Mostly Sunny
104°F
10%
37%
From WNW
11 mph

4 pm
Partly
99°F
Partly Cloudy
106°F
20%
36%
From WNW
11 mph

5 pm
Partly
98°F
Partly Cloudy
104°F
20%
37%
From WNW
11 mph

6 pm
Partly
96°F
Partly Cloudy
102°F
20%
40%
From WNW
10 mph

7 pm
Partly
93°F
Partly Cloudy
99°F
20%
45%
From WNW
8 mph

8 pm
Partly
90°F
Partly Cloudy
96°F
20%
52%
From WNW
7 mph
sunset Sunset 8:34 pm

9 pm
Partly
87°F
Partly Cloudy
93°F
20%
59%
From WNW
7 mph

10 pm
Partly
85°F
Partly Cloudy
91°F
10%
63%
From WNW
6 mph

11 pm
Partly
83°F
Partly Cloudy
88°F
10%
67%
From WNW
6 mph
Feels like 91 degrees at 10 PM?! That's just mean.
.