For instance, The Beach Boys song "God Only Knows". God only knows what I'd be without you. That's sweet, right? And it's good that they sing that line so much because the other lines could use a little more finesse. For example, the song starts out with "I may not always love you..." and you're thinking 'What kind of love song is this?' But then they finish, "But as long as there are stars above you, you never need to doubt it. I'll make you so sure about it." Couldn't they just get right to it and say "I'll love you as long as there are stars above you." Or maybe don't even have a stipulation at the end. Because "as long as there are stars above you" could be interpreted in any number of ways. Maybe just say "I'll love you forever". Or if you feel that's too broad, how about "I'll love you as long as it's humanly possibly" or "I'll love you as long as I'm cognizant and so are you"? Those roll off the tongue really nicely.
In the second verse there's "If you should ever leave me, well life would still go on believe me..." Well that knocks your sweetheart down a peg. Especially with that kind of cocky "believe me". It comes off as very "Oh don't worry, my life would go on without you. Believe you me it would! Yes siree, Bob!" But then they finish it up with, "The world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me?" Aww that's nice. But, once again, maybe they could have just simplified that down and just said "I couldn't live without you."
So there you go, now the song is "I'll love you as long as it's humanly possible. God only knows what I'd be without you. I couldn't live without you. God only knows what I'd be without you. God only knows what I'd be without you (x 90). " Aww, isn't that nice.
The best is that old standard "My Funny Valentine". The lyrics consist of incredibly mean insults followed by niceties. "Your looks are laughable, unphotographable...yet you're my favorite work of art." (Nice recovery! I guess...). "Is your figure less than Greek? Is your mouth a little weak when you open it to speak? Are you smart? But, don't change a hair for me; not if you care for me." [My emphasis added]
Ah yes, the classic "I love you as you are...you ugly, fat, dumb person" love song.
And, really, what love song is complete without the singer asking his funny valentine whether she's smart or not?
Speaking of "God Only Knows", I heard that when John Stamos married Rebecca Romijn, he sang that song at the wedding (yeah, he has a Beach Boys obsession. Sometimes he thinks he is a Beach Boy). Thank god it wasn't "Forever", because that would have been pretty lame. You can't sing Forever to your real wife, when you sang it your TV wife Rebecca Donaldson. I'm sure John thought "Damn! If only I didn't do that for Full House..." Also off limits is skydiving on the day of your wedding and arguing with a sheriff as to whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable on the day of your wedding.
Becky's veil means some serious business
Maybe if he could have sang Forever, John and Rebecca Romijn's relationship would have lasted forever. Instead she's with Jerry O'Connell, who probably had no qualms about singing "Stand By Me" to her or even "I Think I Love You" (Scream 2 reference, anyone? Anyone?!).
Speaking of Scream 2, I hear there's going to be a Scream 4. I hear it has a lot of the original people involved. Wes Craven will direct it; Kevin Williamson will write it; and Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette will star in it. Let me start out by saying that I loved Scream when it came out when I was in middle school. I grew up watching horror movies (you like how I said "grew up", when at this point in the story I'm only in middle school), and so I liked that Scream was a clever movie that paid homage to the genre. It was a horror movie dedicated to horror movies. I mean, how awesome was the character Randy?
But then Scream 2 wasn't all that good and Scream 3 was even worse. I don't even really remember Scream 3. I remember they were making a movie within the movie (the Scream-inspired Stab). And I remember Scream 3 had Patrick Dempsey in it. This is back when I only knew him as Ronald from Can't Buy Me Love (not to be confused with The Beatles song) and the prostitute pizza delivery boy from Loverboy (not to be confused with the Canadian rock band that had a certain penchant for the weekend). And I remember thinking how weird it was to see Patrick all grown up. It was like seeing a unicorn without its horn (which I guess pretty much means I saw a horse...).
But yeah, that's pretty much all I remember about Scream 3. I don't even remember who the killer was in that one. I could look it up, but why should I even bother?
So I wonder what Scream 4 will be like. Is this just going to be one more installation that makes a mockery of the first movie? The Halloween 3 to Halloween, if you will. Probably. And let's think about this realistically: Neve Campbell is now 36 years old (granted that she played a high schooler when she was 23, but still...). What is the plot line going to be? Sidney already did the college thing. Is she married and with a kid? And she lives in the same neighborhood as Gale and Dewey, who are married? And they have barbecues together? And then the ghost face killer will come back to terrorize Sidney and her family? And then does her child becomes a killer in the end? (Hopefully I didn't ruin Halloween 5 for any of you. It's ok, it was all erased anyway to make room for LL Cool J).
I totally forgot Michelle Williams was in Halloween: Water
And who is going to be the killer in this movie? Like I said, I don't even remember who was the killer in Scream 3. But the killer(s) in Scream 2 was so "eh". Who possibly is left to be the killer, other than Sidney, Gale, or Dewey? Maybe one of them possibly went off the deep end due to trauma. I mean, realistically speaking, I can't imagine too many people can keep their mental health intact after most of their friends/family were murdered, sometimes in front of their very own eyes (at least not through three movies worth. It's time to start cracking, people. )
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