Elvis's Doctor Wants to Amputate Elvis's Sexy Image

Do you think Elvis was hot? I certainly thought he was a looker. I found myself attracted to this man that was born in the 1930s and dead before I was born. Elvis was timeless. Generations of people found him good looking. And his voice and hip-swinging didn't hurt him either.

Well, Elvis's doctor is trying to change the way you look at Elvis.

Elvis's doctor Nick Nichopoulous claims that Elvis actually died of chronic constipation. He said that after Elvis died he wasn't sure of the exact cause of death, but since then he has done some research on it. He said he didn't realize until the autopsy that Elvis's constipation was as bad as it was. Dr. Nick thinks Elvis's severe constipation could have been hereditary or maybe a virus caused paralysis of the nerves in his colon. Apparently the autopsy revealed that Elvis's colon was 5 to 6 inches in diameter (whereas the normal width is 2 to 3 inches) and was 8 to 9 feet long (with the average being 4 to 5 feet). Ew.

And it gets worse. Dr Nick talks about Elvis's constipation, "He would get embarrassed, he'd have accidents onstage. He'd have to change clothes and come back..."

And worser. Dr. Nick also believes that Elvis's weight gain was not a result of a poor diet and overeating. Instead, he believes the weight gain was a result of bloating due to the severe constipation. He said, "It was really a physiological problem. During the last few years we were going back and comparing pictures, some of them were taken just two weeks apart but he looked like he'd gained 20 pounds when the only difference was that he had a good healthy bowel movement and then lost a lost of weight from that." So, let me get this straight, Elvis wasn't actually fat...he just had 20 pounds of shit in him?! Dr. Nick continued with the sweet talk, "Usually you pass it all in two or three days, but at the autopsy we found stool in his colon which had been there for four or five months..." I better not see that stool on ebay in the next couple of days!

So there you have it.

That sexy thang in the back is Dr. Nick. I know they are friends and all...but is it standard medical practice to not wear a shirt while in the presence of your patient?