Patton: So, I came to this weird realization, reading about what's going on in Africa and the Sudan and stuff like that, that I don't hate any music. Or at least, I don't hate the motivations behind it. And a lot of people are like, "Oh, those guys are doing this shitty music so they can money and pussy." Yeah, but do you know what people do to get money and pussy on this planet? Really horrible things. Like, they do horrifying things to get money and pussy and power. So, if Nickelback wants to sing "Photograph," they decide to do that instead of forming a cult and killing people, it's hard for me to get angry at that. You're like, "Hey, good for them." ... Every time a hipster bitches about Nickelback, they should send money to the Red Cross, just to go, "Hey, look, I'm sorry that I spent one minute going off about Ke$ha and Nickelback. They're not the best people on the planet, but I probably could've used that time better." Ke$ha should do an ad for Doctors Without Borders going, "Hey guys, have at it. Rip my music apart. But every time you do it, just send a quarter to Doctors Without Borders."
Interviewer: The A.V. Club and it commenters would be sending a lot of money there.
Patton: Oh my god, can you imagine how much money you guys could make if any time somebody wanted to write something negative about Dane Cook or Ke$ha, or anything, they had to pay? It's a pay-to-complain site. Think of some kind of algorithm that can tell if you're writing something positive. You can write that stuff for free. But if you want to write something negative, you have to open a PayPal account. Oh my god, you could wipe out third world debt with one article about Jim Belushi. [Note: That Jim Belushi line made me laugh out loud]
Interviewer: I think you're onto something here.
Patton: Oh my god. I would have to owe, like $500,000.
Interviewer: I wrote a huge article about how terrible Ke$ha is, so I'd probably be out quite a few bucks myself.
Patton: Yeah, your great-grandkids would be born in debt.
[Note: I had the hardest time typing out "Ke$ha". Using that dollar sign instead of an "s" completely threw me off. I kept typing Ke$sha. My mind would just not accept that the dollar sign was the "s". It's like how my mind could not bring itself to accept the phrase "butt hurt". It just sounds so wrong. Kids these days!]
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment