In Case Your Mule Trivia Isn't Where It Should Be

I read an interesting article in The New Yorker by Susan Orlean about the use of mules in the military (especially in places like Afghanistan, where the mules carry huge loads and are able to traverse hazardous mountain passes like the Hindu Kush). She also discussed the history and modern-use of mules. Honestly, Susan Orlean can make anything fascinating. And I like trivia as much as the next person (ok, I probably like trivia more than the next person), so I was actually fascinated to learn new stuff about mules. For example:

[A mule] will carry as much as three hundred pounds, seven hours a day, twenty days straight, without complaint, strolling along under the huge, heavy cargo as if it were a bag of balloons. On the other hand, a mule knows its limits. It is characteristic of the breed to have an inviolable commitment to self-preservation, which is often misinterpreted as stubbornness. In truth, it is probably a form of genius. A horse will eat until it founders and dies; a mule will only snack, even if it happens upon an open bin of oats. A horse can be enticed to gallop, fatally, over a cliff. In 1942, the Army was researching ways to deliver mules to combat zones. Someone thought that teaching the animals to skydive would be a good way to do this. As an experiment, twelve mules were fitted with parachutes and taken up in a cargo plane. The first six, caught by surprise, were pushed out the door and immediately fell to their deaths. The next six survived. This is because they must have figured out what was going on and absolutely refused to go near the door.

The mule's commitment to survival is interesting in a Darwinian context, because mules -- the hybrid result of mating a male donkey with a female horse -- have an uneven number of chromosomes and are therefore sterile. Every mule, then, is sui generis; it leaves no legacy beyond itself, no radiating gene pool to mark its visit to this world. It is as if each mule knew that it had one shot at being here on earth, and risky behavior, such as jumping out of an airplane at ten thousand feet, would interfere with that. Even the sheer persistence of the breed seems a stroke of genius. Since a horse and a donkey rarely mate on their own, mules are essentially man-made. It has been a successful invention -- in fact, mules are probably the most successful and enduring animal hybrid, with beefalo coming in a distant second.

If you breed in the reverse -- a male horse and a female donkey -- the offspring is called a hinny. Some people think that hinnies are harder to breed, others that they get the worst of both parents; either way, hinnies are far less popular than mules.

A 2008 study of mule cognition at the University of Sussex found that mules, over all, not only understood things better than either horses or donkeys but were also better at following instructions.

Crash Blossom

A headline from the Edinburgh News:

Number of Lothian patients made ill by drinking rockets.

At first glance, you think the patients are drinking rockets. But then you come to find out that it's actually saying that the number of patients getting ill from drinking is rocketing.

Are You There Kris Kristofferson? It's Me, Heather.

Kris Kristofferson is everywhere. You're just living your life, minding your own business, when suddenly Kris randomly appears. This guy has been everywhere. I suspect he was at the Last Supper, was one of the original framers of the U.S. Constitution, witnessed the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, knocked down the first portion of the Berlin Wall, and was one of the vote-counters during the Florida recount for the 2000 presidential election. He's done everything and he's been everywhere.

He appeared in Sports Illustrated when he was in college because of his achievements in football, rugby, and track and field. You're flipping through some 1950s edition of Sports Illustrated, do you expect to see Kris Kristofferson's face? No. You just got Kris-Kristoffersoned.

He earned a Rhodes Scholarship to Oxford and got a graduate degree in literature (!).

He was a captain in the U.S. Army.

Guess who was a janitor at Columbia studios, sweeping the floor, while Bob Dylan was there recording his "Blonde on Blonde" album? Kris Kristofferson.

Who worked as a commercial helicopter pilot, and landed his helicopter in Johnny Cash's yard to grab his attention and to give him tapes of his music? Kris Kristofferson. Kris made Johnny listen to "Sunday Morning Coming Down" before he agreed to remove the helicopter.

It was while he was singing Kris Kristofferson's song "Sunday Morning Coming Down" that Johnny Cash got in trouble with the censors. Johnny recorded the song live on The Johnny Cash Show, and before the show, ABC censors told Johnny to change the lyric "Wishing, lord, that I was stoned" to "Wishing, lord, that I was home." When the show came on live, Johnny sang it the way Kris wrote it and he even enunciated the word "stoned".

Kris Kristofferson wrote "Me and Bobby McGee". And he dated Janis Joplin.

He also wrote songs made famous by lots of musicians like Waylon Jennings, Ray Price, Johnny Cash, and Willie Nelson.

In addition to being a songwriter, he's a singer/musician himself. He won a Grammy for country song of the year in 1971 for "Help Me Make It Through the Night."

Willie Nelson actually released an album called "Willie Nelson Sings Kris Kristofferson".

He won a Golden Globe for Best Actor for the movie "A Star is Born".

He dated Barbra Streisand.

He was married to the singer Rita Coolidge.

His name has also been thrown around as one of the possible muses for Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain."

There was a music project (a supergroup, if you will) in the 1980s that consisted of Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Brenda Lee, and...Kris Kristofferson.

Then there was another supergroup called the Highwaymen that featured Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, and...Kris Kristofferson.

He's inducted in the Songwriters Hall of Fame and the Country Music Hall of Fame.

He's inducted in the Texas Film Hall of Fame.

Remember that crazy Pee-Wee Herman movie, "Big Top Pee-Wee"? Well guess who was the ring leader of the circus? Kris Kristofferson.

He's also that crazy old guy in the Blade movies.

Apparently, he was also in "He's Just Not That Into You."

Have you found yourself watching "The Land Before Time VI" and thinking to yourself there's a voice that sounds familiar? It's Kris Kristofferson.

Did you ever see the Bob Dylan biopic "I'm Not There"? Kris Kristofferson was the narrator.

He's friends with Muhammad Ali (oh yeah, and everyone. He's just friends with everyone).

Remember when Sinead O'Connor performed on Saturday Night Live and ripped a picture of the Pope? And people were kind of pissed off about that. And then she was to perform at a concert in New York City and she was booed off stage. And she ran off the stage, crying? Guess who was standing in the wings and immediately hugged her once she came off stage? Kris Kristofferson.

Kris Kristofferson and his music is even referenced in Martin Scorsese's movie "Taxi Driver". Betsy tells Travis that he reminds her of a Kris Kristofferson song. Then Travis goes out and buys the album.

When Cameron Crowe was doing research for "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", he posed as a high school student. Rumor has it that the principal was not thrilled with the idea, but when he asked Crowe about what musicians that he had met (as he was a music journalist for Rolling Stone), he mentioned Kris Kristofferson. As the principal was a big fan of Kristofferson, he agreed to let Cameron stay on campus. While I doubt the validity of this story, it's another example of Kris permeating pop culture and urban legend.

He's one of the few male celebrities to appear as a model in both Playboy and Playgirl.

He is omnipresent.

Recent Dispatches

Russia experienced their worst ever performance in the winter Olympics in Vancouver. They ended up in 11th place for the medal count and "only" got three gold medals. President Medvedev said the Russian Olympic officials should resign. He said they "should take the brave decision and submit their resignations. If they cannot do it, we will help them." [Emphasis added]. Yikes. When your country kind of has a reputation for being corrupt and heavy-handed, the last thing you want to do is say something that sounds menacing. Eagan said if the Russian Olympic officials aren't careful, they're going to be "resigned" to the bottom of a river.

Russia's performance in Vancouver and the country's subsequent outburst of anger and disappointment makes me concerned for the the next winter games...that are going to be held in Russia. I don't even want to think about what lengths they're going to go to to make sure they "own the podium" in 2014. After Evan Lysacek won the gold medal in figure skating against Russian skater Evgeni Plushenko, even Putin said Plushenko was robbed. Evan joked in an interview, when asked if he would compete in the 2014 games to defend his gold medal, that he probably won't even be allowed in the country to compete.

---

It was reported that approximately 50% of the Canadian population (16.6 million viewers) watched the entire gold medal hockey game on Sunday. And 80% of the Canadian population watched some part of the game. That is one universally loved sport in Canada. The closest equivalent for the U.S. that I could think of is the Superbowl. Not everyone watches the Superbowl in the U.S., but it is a pretty big event and lots of people watch it (and more people watch it than regular football games). This year's Superbowl even had a record breaking number of 106.5 million viewers. While that is more than three times Canada's population, that only translates to about 1/3 of the U.S. population. So even with something big like the Superbowl, only 1/3 of our country watched. So those that were sad that the U.S. lost the gold medal hockey game, just imagine how devastated the Canadian population would have been if they lost. Eighty-percent (plus) of the population would probably be on suicide watch. Whereas, I would speculate 80% of the U.S. population didn't even know there was a hockey game on Sunday.

---

Julianne Moore has confirmed that she will make an appearance on the soap opera "As the World Turns." She will have a walk-on appearance. Julianne Moore first got her start on the soap in 1985 and she even earned a daytime Emmy in 1988 for her role. The show is ending in September after being on for 54 years.
First of all, I think it's cute that Julianne Moore is going back to show her appreciation for the show that gave her a start. I'm sure there are actors of her caliber that wouldn't go back because they're "too good" for the show now (Rick Springfield, I'm looking at you) -- even though the show is ending and its a good way to pay their last respects, so to speak. I love Julianne Moore. Second of all, 54 years?!? That blows my mind.

---

Gary Coleman suffered a seizure on the set of "The Insider". But what really caught my attention in the article was "...and [Gary] received immediate treatment from Dr. Drew Pinsky, who happened to be on the set as well." Is there anything Dr. Drew doesn't do?! That guy is almost in as many places as Kris Kristofferson.

Plus, I'm glad Gary Coleman didn't have a stroke...because then the puns would be a-flying (but, as is, thank goodness he had something "diff'rent" than a stroke) [I had to].

---

The Price is Right is having even more legal problems with their models. Does that show ever learn?! Now a former Price is Right model filed a lawsuit because she was harassed and discriminated against for being pregnant. Producers on the show made rude remarks about her pregnancy, her appearance, her weight, and her eating habits. And she was not allowed to return to work after her pregnancy leave. In the past, the show has been sued by the models for sexual harassment, age discrimination, and weight discrimination.

Eagan said the moral of the story is to always remember to spay and neuter your models.

---

Martin Scorsese is the latest to sing the praises of 3-D movies. He said he'd love to do one. He said, "We see in depth, for the most part. We go to the theatre -- it's in depth. Why couldn't a film like 'Precious' be in 3-D? It should be." Yeah, because explicit physical and sexual abuse is something I want to feel is popping out of the screen and right up in my face.

---

Apparently a stun gun was delivered recently to the Jackson family estate (where Michael Jackson's kids are living) and child service workers are investigating the incident. But all is well, it turns out it was just Jermaine's 13 year old son that had ordered it (not Jermajesty, but another one. I think it was JerJester...). And why shouldn't a 13 year old be mail-ordering a Taser? Sounds like a typical day in Jacksonville, if you ask me. Oh wait, that's a real city... My apologies to Jacksonville (Florida, Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, Missouri, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Vermont, and West Virginia. But I'm not apologizing to Jacksonville, Texas. Did you know Ryan Adams is from Jacksonville, North Carolina? And he frequently references it in his songs. )

---

Umm, this is kind of awkward. There has been a 13-year legal battle between OJ Simpson's sports agent and Fred Goldman, the father of Ron Goldman (the man OJ Simpson was accused of murdering, along with his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson). Both of the men claim the right to the suit, shirt, and tie that OJ was wearing when he was acquitted of murder charges. I don't really understand why either of them wanted those clothes in their possession (yeah, I get it, they wanted to make money off of them. But still. I don't get it. ). So a deal was reached with a judge. They decided to donate the outfit to the Smithsonian Institution. The donation would be made in the name of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. Can you imagine how awkward that would be seeing that display in the Smithsonian American History museum, with a little placard next to it with the names of these murder victims? Yikes.

One problem, the Smithsonian rejected them. I think their press release said something like 'Hell no, we're not getting involved with this shit.' Now those involved are looking for another museum or institution of higher learning to give the suit to. Good luck.

If you look close enough, you can see the ten foot pole in the background that the Smithsonian Institution refuses to even touch his suit with.

Another Moment of Fashion

Is it just me, or is the Canadian ski cross team trying to bring back Zubaz pants?!

If so, I 100% approve.

Wow, That is Scathing...Pt. 2

Vanity Fair's Andrew Wagner on Joanna Newsom's new album Have One On Me (which is a 3-disc album):

Does anyone really want three discs of Joanna Newsom? Have One On Me is like listening to the Pride and Prejudice book-on-tape while driving on I-94 through Indiana and Illinois with NPR's Jonathan Schwartz riding shotgun. It's long (3 discs!), sad, depressed, flat, antiquated, boring, and runs the risk of making you nod off at the wheel and die. All this against a beige backdrop flanked by decaying industrial towns. I mean, three discs?

Ice Dancing

I was wondering what it was about Meryl Davis's face that seemed funny or odd to me. In case you're wondering who that is, she's an Olympic ice dancer for the United States (I just learned that the other day...). Anyway, back to her face. Something about it seemed odd. Then it came to me: She has the face of an animated Disney princess. It just doesn't seem real.

Some concluding thoughts on ice dancing (other than the obvious "I can't believe NBC aired this event instead of the hockey game."):

Why do so many male ice dancers have such lame hair 'styles'?

And the ice dancing event of doing a folk dance routine just seems like a chance to portray ethnic stereotypes and to reduce a culture to satire.

I'll leave you with this...

Don't worry, it's ok...they're brother and sister!