The first line of the article and the author is already throwing around terms like "hipster", "post-hipster", and "quasi-hipster". God, I hate her already.
In the article she describes Columbia Heights "pre-Target" and "post-Target". As if time should now be measured by this epochal event, right up there with the life of Jesus. Pre-Target Columbia Heights was THE place to be seen. Hipsters were attracted to this neighborhood because of the "bragging rights" that comes with living in a "gritty", "edgy", "urban" area with "semi-permanent police cars" that monitor the "muggings and shootings that still happen in broad daylight" (though I wouldn't be surprised if these same hipsters crossed the street upon seeing a black person).
She talked about how pre-Target hipsters would rent a zipcar and make a special (secret) odyssey (that only occurs every four months) to go down to Target to gets things all hipsters need, like "microsuede storage benches" and "duvets". But they did this "ironically".
"Along the way, you talked about how glad you were that you didn't live down there, and how ironic it was for you to be going there at all ... And on the way home you stopped at Outback Steakhouse (which was totally hilarious), and in polite company you never spoke of these suburban adventures again." (Original emphasis)
Oh the hipster lifestyle, selling your soul for a $30 duvet and a blooming onion. Have you no shame.
The author goes on to say Target was "amusing", just as long as it's not in their backyard. She actually says "NIMBY" (not in my backyard). As if hipsters not wanting a Target in their neighborhood because it would ruin their 'street cred' is along the same lines of neighborhoods and communities organizing and rallying together to prevent something like a freeway being built through their neighborhood.
She argues, "The problem with a Target is that it can lead to other nefarious pursuits. It's a gateway drug to other suburban activities." (Yes, she really did say gateway drug). She gives the example of hipsters that actually ate at -- I can barely type this out -- Ruby Tuesday's! There's one across from the Target. One hipster that ate at R.T.'s (as I like to call it) had his friends give him a really hard time about going to one and he actually felt the need to excuse his actions. Saying, "It was kind of a joke..." and that there was a group of people and they all were hungry and they just got done with an activity and wanted something fast...and did I mention they were all hungry?! And, most importantly, he said he won't go again. Wow. That is sad. Another hipster girl joked about how her and her friends "ironically" went to Ruby Tuesday's. Justifying it with "I don't know how we ended up there!"And they all thought it was "ironic and stupid" -- and they ironically and stupidly ordered food, ate it, and paid for it.
The author even blames Target for these hipsters' out-of-control consumerism and materialism. Acting as if the problem is the Target and not these (usually totally rich kid) hipsters. Or our society in general, for that matter. Our culture is all about conspicuous consumption and materialism. But the author acts like only Target is the problem, and pre-Target Columbia Heights was above consumerism. She gives the example of one hipster that goes to Target four times a week. Another hipster impulsively bought a flat screen TV at Best Buy. Another hipster wanders Target when she's bored, buying stuff she doesn't need. Two hipsters came out of Target with a cart full of stuff including a cat jungle gym; providing the quote, "If I had not been able to walk to the store, I would not have bought this." I don't think the problem is Target (or its proximity), I think the problem is these shopaholics that obviously need some serious help.
When the author makes statements like "[Target is] so awful. so convenient," I'm reminded of who this article is ignoring: The non-hipster majority that lives in this area (those who live in this area for non-trendy reasons). And this includes many families. They are probably quite happy to have a place like Target close by. They probably enjoy the convenience and low prices of a place like Target. Not too many of these residents probably rented zip cars (pre-Target) to go to Targets in the suburbs every four months like our hipster friends.
And don't the hipsters realize they're probably at least partly responsible for the Target coming? These hipsters with their expendable income (as is evident by the random shopping sprees when they're bored) and their college degrees. The mass exodus of hipsters to an area helps bring about the trendy clubs, bars, and restaurants. Next thing you know there's box stores. And then comes the healthy frozen yogurt places and $3 cupcakes. Now I realize young hipsters don't hold that much sway with development -- I wouldn't say they are single-handedly responsible for the Target -- but they definitely change the make-up of residents in Columbia Heights, which contributes to its commercial development.
To sum up the article, I have created the following list:
Hipster:
CVS
Deodorant locked up at the store
Dim lighting
Living in areas with crime
Zipcars
Cardboard boxes as toys for your pets
"Cracked, group-house, hand-me-down" dinner plates
A mis-matched bathroom
Graphic tees
Shaggy black haircut
Slim physique ("city-soft")
"Vintage-y dress"
Nose piercing
Square glasses
T-shirt as a pillowcase
Arts non-profit groups
Not Hipster:
Target
Neatly stocked aisles
Deodorants with fancy scents ("Lotus Glow" and "Valencia Mist")
Bed, Bath, and Beyond
Marshalls
Best Buy
Flat screen TVs
Humidifiers
Pleather sofas
Owning your own car
Big box stores
Convenience
Proximity
"Kitty Cities" or other cat jungle gyms that come in a box
Coordinating bathmat/shower-curtain combo
Matching sheets
Seasonal wreaths
Ruby Tuesday's
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