Well-Said

Christopher Hitchens wrote a great op-ed piece about Glenn Beck's rally this past weekend and how this group of people are afraid that this country "will be submerged by an influx from beyond the borders and that it will be challenged in its traditional ways and faiths by an alien and largely Third World religion." He brings up the examples (all from just this summer) of the Arizona immigration law, the calls for amending the 14th Amendment (so that children born in this country to non-citizen immigrant parents cannot receive automatic U.S. citizenship -- we don't want "terror babies"! ), the fight over the "Ground Zero" mosque, and now Glenn Beck's rally this past weekend that called for a (Christian) religious revival.

I loved this part:

In a rather curious and confused way, some white people are starting to almost think like a minority, even like a persecuted one. What does it take to believe that Christianity is an endangered religion in America or that the name of Jesus is insufficiently spoken or appreciated? Who wakes up believing that there is no appreciation for our veterans and our armed forced and that without a noisy speech from Sarah Palin, their sacrifice would be scorned? It's not unfair to say that such grievances are purely and simply imaginary, which in turn leads one to ask what the real ones can be. The clue, surely, is furnished by the remainder of the speeches, which deny racial feeling so monotonously and vehemently as to draw attention.

I also loved how he said that Glenn Beck's rally this weekend was "large, vague, moist, and undirected: the Waterworld of white self-pity."

I don't really get what the message/point of his shirt is. Is it that if there happens to be black people around the world that own/owned slaves, that it's ok that white people do/did, too? Also, who could forget that wonderful country Mauitania?! I don't know if he just happened to forget to put in the "r", or if he thinks that's actually what the country is called.

Oh look! He had another wonderful shirt under his Mauitania shirt!

Crushworthy

Jon Hamm

Here's the thing. I'm not really attracted to Jon Hamm as Jon Hamm. I'm attracted to Jon Hamm as Don Draper. Not the character Don Draper (hell no), but Jon Hamm dressed as Don Draper. For some reason, Jon Hamm as Jon Hamm just doesn't seem all that attractive to me. Don't get me wrong, he's still a good looking guy, but he's not as good looking. I think because I don't like Jon's hair when it's all floppy and he's usually not clean-shaven. But when he slicks his hair back and he's wearing those awesome 60s suits with the thin ties (as Don), then I'm really attracted to him.

vs

Chan Marshall

I think Chan Marshall is so pretty. I also love her music and her warm, smoky voice (she is Cat Power). So while I don't mind looking at her and listening to her music, she's not one of those crushes where I would actually want to be in a relationship with her. She's just a little too crazy for me. She's had a really crazy life, she's experienced breakdowns (sometimes on stage), she's suffered addictions. I think she's gotten over a lot of that stuff and has gotten help and I think she's in a better place now. But, still, she's the kind of person I would imagine that would burn all my clothes if we were to ever break up...So this crush is purely physical and musical (attracted to her talent).

Hecklers

Recently, the comedian Michael Ian Black was doing a show in Columbus, Ohio and he was talking about how much he liked Obama. This resulted in some scattered boos. Then somebody yelled out "Heil Hitler!" Michael was taken aback by the comment and then asked the man what he meant by that (hoping there guy was trying to be ironic or funny in some weird way). The heckler said, "Because when you say you like Obama, that's the same thing to me as 'Heil Hitler.'" So Michael responds, "Sir, I say this with all due respect -- you are a fucking moron."

And then Michael got really worked up and started screaming at the guy. Saying things like "How dare you compare Hitler to Obama or any president? How dare you equate what he did to what Obama is doing? Do you have any idea how insulting that is? Do you know anything about history? Do you have any idea what Hitler did? He killed six million of my people, which is six million more than Obama has killed." Then Michael started calling him a fucking idiot, a fucking moron, and that he's the problem with this fucking country. And he basically started yelling fuck at the guy. Then the heckler got up and left.

In the aftermath, Michael says he feels bad for how he reacted because his response was immature. He said, "I could have made my point a million different ways without screaming into a microphone in a room filled with drunk people. I wasn't clever, I wasn't thoughtful, I said nothing that would move the conversation forward." I thought Michael's response was definitely appropriate. A statement like that definitely brings about an emotional, angry response. It's hard to deliver a rational, calm retort to a statement like that and to a person that makes statements like that. Even still, I thought what Michael initially said was rational and does move the conversation forward. Michael pointed out that it's absurd to compare someone like Hitler -- and all the atrocities he committed -- to Barack Obama; that this heckler is doing a great disservice to history; and that you can't treat a statement like that as if it's a buzz word -- there's actual meaning behind what you say. As for Michael screaming "fuck" at the heckler? That served a purpose too because it probably embarrassed the heckler. And he should be embarrassed.

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This got me thinking about other comedian hecklers. On the FX show Louie -- written by, directed by, and featuring the comedian Louis C.K. -- there was an episode that brought up hecklers. Louis was doing a set and there was a lady in the audience that kept talking loudly to her friends. She also would interrupt his set and try to make jokes herself. Louis then makes fun of her during his set. Afterwards, the lady approaches him outside the club and said that was really mean and unfair of him. I love how Louis responds to her. He says, "Most people would never do that. Most people are polite and they'd rather cut off their hand then hurt a show by talking. That's what...a good person wouldn't do that. So you must be a bad person."

She then says, "I know I'm a good person. And you have no right to talk to me like that."

Louis says, "Actually I do. That's the whole thing. That's how that room works. I have a right to talk. I'm actually paid to talk in there. And to say stuff and people laugh. You're not supposed to say anything. It's a show. "

She goes on to defend her talking and says that's what people do and he has to learn to put up with it.

Louis says, "Let me ask you a question. Do you like your life?"

"Yes. So?"

"I'm sure you do. You're a student. You're happy. You have good days and you have full and fun nights. Right?"

"Yes, I'm not a loser like you."

"Yes, see that's the whole point. You have a good life and it's just the way you want it to be. These guys -- comedians, me -- these guys don't have a life. This is all they have. Their days are shit. They don't have many friends, they don't have families; they have this. The only good part of their lives is the 15 minutes they get to be on stage, maybe once a week. Sometimes once a month. And you took that 15 minutes...the one 15 minutes that they would have had, that they would have enjoyed maybe for a long time. And you ruined it. You took that away from them. I know you think it's cute, but it's not. It's really...it's a rotten thing to do. And I don't know how you can think you're a good person if you do things like that. Honestly, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. I really do."

Brilliant.

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Speaking of brilliant, I also love what Patton Oswalt said to a heckler once:

"You're going to miss everything cool and die angry."

All You Needed To Know About DC

A local DC blogger pointed out a link to a Maine Tea Party website that is offering helpful tips if you happen to be coming to DC for the Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin rally this weekend. And I could not stop laughing at this helpful guide:

The author gives tips for restaurants in the area -- including restaurants in the Dupont Circle neighborhood, which he affectionately calls "Dupont Circle, gay area."

He also posts a link to a website in which a "Libertarianish Virginia economics professor extensively explores and reviews restaurants, especially Northern Virginia Asian fare." Because you just can't trust restaurant reviews from anyone on the non-Libertarianish scale. And is Asian fare particularly Libertarian friendly or something?

The author then writes:

DC's population includes refugees from every country, as the families of embassy staffs of third world countries tend to stay in DC whenever a revolution in their homeland means that anyone in their family would be in danger if they went back.

So you should assume that anyone living in DC that is originally from another country is a refugee. And the refugee policy in the US is that you are only grated asylum if you are the family member of someone that works at an embassy.

Most taxi drivers and many waiters/waitresses (especially in local coffee shops like the Bread and Chocolate chain) are immigrants, frequently from east Africa or Arab countries. As a rule, African immigrants do not like for you to assume they are African Americans and especially do not like for you to guess they are from a neighboring country (e.g., Eritrea, Ethiopia, Somalia) with whom they may have political or military tensions. It's rare to meet anyone who gets really offended, but you can still be aware of the issue.

First, for best results one should avoid Bread & Chocolate, local coffee shops (hell, pretty much just waiters in general), and taxis. Got it.

Second, I assume the man is speaking from experience when he says these African immigrants do not like it when people assume they're African American. Which I assume means he has expressed that assumption verbally. Does the author of this piece have a history of seeing a black person and saying something like "Look kids! It's an African American!" or "Are you one of those African Americans?" or "Are you proud to be an African American?" or "As an African American, what do you think about..."?

Third, a lot of these Tea Party types think all people from Latin America are Mexican. So I can't imagine too many are asking these African immigrants, "You definitely look like you're from Eritrea. Are you?" I doubt they could discern the physical features enough to recognize that this African immigrant is even from the Horn of Africa -- let alone pinpointing a single country. And how many of these Tea Party types have even heard of Eritrea? Or know that it's an African country? [Hell, how many 'regular' Americans even know Eritrea is an African country?] I would imagine a more accurate encounter would be "Oh you're from Africa?! Are you related to Shaka Zulu? Do you know Nelson Mandela? Have you ever seen elephants before?"

Then the author goes on to list a bunch of areas in DC that people should NOT go to because it's unsafe. This is pretty detailed and is probably only funny to people that live in DC and know the neighborhoods and streets well -- but the basic gist of it is that he pretty much says everywhere but the western part of Northwest DC and Northern Virginia is unsafe. Which is ridiculous. And he says to pretty much avoid the Green and Yellow metro lines completely (even in the day time)! This assertion is even more ridiculous. He says the only places you're safe to be on foot, in a cab, or on a bus is one neighborhood in Maryland, five neighborhoods in Virginia (and they even specify northern Arlington. As if southern Arlington is a ghetto because it has fewer Crate & Barrel stores...), only 14th and 16th street in NW DC, and only the 7 blocks near the Capitol. Then they say at the end "Or stay on the Mall and at the various monuments." Haha.

Avoid the Green and Yellow Lines of Death

Alright! My neighborhood got a shout-out as a "lovely place". But he says that visitors won't know where they are [I guess because I don't live on the Mall?], and so they cannot go unless the author goes with them. (Plus, good luck getting to my neighborhood considering the author said they shouldn't ride the metro north of Union Station!).

He also listed other "bad places". These are the places where Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Robert Bauer/Anita Dunn, and Tom Daschle live. And he lists their addresses (!!) and encourages people to protest there. Wow.

Crushworthy

What else is the internet there for but to let people know what you're doing; where you're at; and what you're listening to, watching, and reading. So to keep up with this self-important adventure of letting you know all about me, I'll be running a series on my celebrity crushes. I'll post one of my male and female celebrity crushes each entry (because I'm progressive like that). Some of these crushes are purely physical (i.e., I think they're good-looking, but I wouldn't want to actually be in relationship with them); while others I would totally want to be their significant other, and live with them, and have none of their babies. So there are varying levels of crushworthiness -- from major crush to small crush (i.e., sometimes I find them attractive, sometimes I don't). It should be noted that some of my crushes I find attractive because of some aspect of their personality/talent, but I don't know if I would necessarily find them all that attractive otherwise. Like Conan O'Brien. If I just saw that guy on the street...eh (actually, if I saw him on the street it would be more like "Wow that guy is super tall" and then "eh"). But because I know who he is and I love his sense of humor and intelligence, I'm more inclined to be like "you know what...yeah, I'd get on board with that."

Here is the first Crushworthy segment:

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

This man knows how to wear a vest, am I right or am I right? I actually had a crush on him when I was younger, too (See: Angels in the Outfield, 3rd Rock from the Sun, 10 Things I Hate About You). I was glad when he lost the long hair (the Willy Wiggins in Dazed & Confused hair. Time hasn't been as generous to Willy Wiggins as it has been to Joseph Gordon-Levitt...). If you don't have a crush on him, just watch his dance scene in (500) Days of Summer, and then you will.

Tina Fey

Tina is the complete package. Good-looking, smart, and ridiculously funny and witty. And, no, this doesn't mean I have something for Sarah Palin too.

This is What a Harsh Crackdown Looks Like?

It's no secret that Russians love their vodka. The president of Russia doesn't just wander the streets of DC in his underwear for fun -- he did it because he drank too much vodka (I'm speaking of that lovable teddybear Boris Yeltsin, of course). On average, Russians drink a liter and a half of pure alcohol every month (and that's per person).

As Russia's alcohol consumption continues to be a problem (half a million people die a year as a result), President Medvedev announced a war on alcohol last year and he ordered the government to come up with ways to reduce excessive drinking and to cut off black market alcohol. Here's some of the 'get tough' rules the government has come up with: Raising the minimum price of vodka to 89 roubles (about $3 USD...), planning on cutting sales at kiosks, and now city authorities in Moscow have just announced a ban on the sell of liquor (spirits) between 10 PM and 10 AM (though, I think establishments serving food are not affected...). Yevgeny Bryun,the Ministry of Health's chief specialist on alcohol and drug addiction, admitted that people could still drink a ton of vodka in the day and then turn to drinking beer late at night, "but overall, the alcohol burden will be lower." Ha!

The fact that these regulations are considered a crackdown is a pretty good indication of how much they love their vodka. 'Cracking down' means not having alcohol readily available everywhere they go, increasing the cost of vodka so that maybe now only penniless homeless people and small children without an allowance cannot afford it, and not allowing people to buy alcohol in the middle of the night/early in the morning (sorry 3 AM vodka runs). Tough times ahead.

James Cameron is an Asshole

In the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly there's an interview with James Cameron. And here's what he had to say about The Hurt Locker (the film directed by Kathryn Bigelow, his ex-wife, that beat out Avatar for Best Picture and Best Director, among others):

Entertainment Weekly: Would The Hurt Locker have been better in 3-D?

James Cameron: It would have been better in 3-D.

EW: You think so?

JC: Absolutely. It wouldn't have been hugely better in 3-D, but...[and then he rambles on about 3-D being the future of film].

Oh man, if only Kathryn would have had that foresight and wisdom, maybe then The Hurt Locker could have won Best Picture...oh....

EW: Were you surprised that The Hurt Locker beat Avatar for Best Picture and Director?

JC: [...] It was David and Goliath. The Goliath had made more than a couple of billion dollars and Hurt Locker had made about what it cost to shoot, about $15 million. The Academy always likes to be the great equalizer. But I don't begrudge her any of that. I couldn't think of a better outcome for our two lives. I got my Oscar. She got her Oscar.

Spoken like the modest, gracious man he is. It's like "I don't begrudge her. And why should I? If I laid out all my money on the ground, forming a path, it would stretch all the way around the world. Her money would only stretch to the Applebee's across the parking lot from the Best Western Inn that she and her Hurt Locker film crew stayed at. It would be downright criminal for me to begrudge that. People like to cheer for the underdog, the loser, the handicapped kid with no legs. And I'm not going to step in and say 'You know what, not only do I have both my legs, but they're also really fast legs. And we all know I would win in a race.' But I'll play along and smile uncomfortably when you give the handicapped kids with no legs the medal out of pity. That's just the kind of person I am. Plus, I have way more medals anyway."

I actually wrote the "I'm the king of the world" line into Titanic just so I could say it now and have it be even more poignant. You know, I have the same initials as Jesus Christ.

The interview also showed what a great activist he is. He talked about his work in helping the Achuar (an Amazonian tribe that is trying to keep oil companies from drilling on their land). I think he helped with a fundraiser. But definitely the greatest thing he could have ever done for them was he bussed a bunch of Achuar to watch Avatar at an IMAX theatre. It was their first time in a movie theatre. I'm sure that helped them a ton... And then he gets pissed when they don't agree with him:

JC: And when they came out [of the theatre], the BBC interviewed them. This one woman, a tribal elder, says, "In this movie, they solved their problems by fighting. We are not afraid to fight, but we have decided to try to solve our problems through dialogue. So this movie needs a better message."

EW: Ouch

JC: I felt like I'd been punk'd. But it made me think.

So, James Cameron feels punk'd when people disagree with the message of his movie?! That anytime someone disagrees with him, he's waiting for Ashton Kutcher and a film crew to bust out of the bushes and say this was orchestrated?! "Just kidding, dude! You know no one actually disagrees with you!" exclaims Ashton. Also, I'm not entirely sure that James realizes his film is a fictional movie...and that not all native people have to fight their battles physically because the Na'vi did...