Aww, The Supreme Court is Like Our Grandparents!

Today at the Supreme Court there were oral arguments for the case City of Ontario v. Quon -- a case which deals with whether police officers have a right to privacy when it comes to personal (sexually explicit) text messages sent on pagers issued to them by the city. But what those arguments, and the subsequent questions asked by the Justices, revealed is that the real issue here is Supreme Court Justices v. Technology. For instance, Chief Justice Roberts (who writes his opinions with pen and paper instead of a computer) asked what the difference was "between e-mail and a pager?" Justice Roberts is 55 year old! My parents are older than that and they know the difference (well, my mom probably does. I can't say for sure about my dad...). Plus, my 87 year old grandma, soon to be 88, types on a computer. She even sends e-mails. No excuse, Roberts!

Justice Kennedy also asked what would happen if a text message was sent to an officer at the same time the officer was sending a text to someone. "Does it say: 'Your call is important to us, and we will get back to you?'" he asked. HA! Ha ha! Wouldn't that be hilarious if that's how things worked! Well, Justice Kennedy, if you would have spent more time reading up on technology, and less time being the swing vote that fucks everything up, you would know the answer to this.

Justice Scalia had a hard time grasping the idea of a service provider. "You mean [the text] doesn't go right to me?" he asked. He then asked whether text messages could be printed out. He asked, "Could Quon print these spicy little conversations and send them to his buddies?" Upon hearing "spicy little conversations", Justice Thomas quickly woke up from his nap, shot out of his chair, and actually asked a question (for like the first time in decades*). 'Yeah, can they?! And, if so, they should probably be submitted to the Court...for judicial review, of course!'

If only they were as technologically-savvy as they are good-looking.

*Slight exaggeration. But then again, it doesn't really matter because this is just a made-up scenario with Justice Clarence Thomas.You think he'd actually wake up from his nap?!