The Huffington Post had an article this morning about how China planned on closely watching the Barack Obama-Dalai Lama visit (I just realized that Barack Obama-Dalai Lama sounds like a great Dr. Seuss book). However, the article has been completely changed and updated because the meeting has since happened. BUT, the original article had said that China would be paying attention to how big the meeting is, how long it will be, how much attention it gets, whether it will be filmed or not, whether a statement will be released, how public it will be, whether the First Lady will attend, and so on and so on. In other words, they were coming off like a creepy, obsessed ex.
I figured Obama would meet with the Dalai Lama but do it privately, keep it low-key, and keep it off-camera to try to appease both sides (I was right...). However, before the meeting actually took place, I was hoping for this outcome:
I hope they make a huge deal out of it. Like have a stadium tour. And Neil Diamond and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band play him on to the stage (playing a song they wrote especially for him) [You might be asking 'Why Neil and Bruce?' Well, because they seem to be the ones included in every big national event, that's why]. And they have the Dalai Lama on a Jumbo Tron screen while he gives his speech (and all the while, Dalai Lama mascots are using T-shirt guns to fire Dalai Lama t-shirts into the crowd). And the crowd chants his name in unison. And then the crowd hoists him on their shoulders and they parade through the streets of D.C. while cameras film it all...including aerial shots from helicopters, which show how massive the crowd is. And the crowd chants "Free Tibet! Free Tibet!" And Obama is hoisted up by the crowd too and he and the Dalai Lama are crowd surfing while holding hands and looking into each others eyes lovingly. Then they give the Dalai Lama an honorary degree from every university in the area (including the University of Phoenix and University of Maryland University College). And they also give him the key to the city. And then they replace the Statue of Freedom on top of the Capitol building with a statue of the Dalai Lama holding a Tibetan flag. Yeah. That sounds about right.
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Your scenario of the meeting is perfect and made me laugh out loud! The only thing you forgot to mention is that while Neil Diamond and Bruce Springsteen are playing on stage, Kris Kristofferson is standing back stage.
ReplyDeleteHAHA! You're right. Having Kris there would not only be perfect, but accurate -- because he is in fact everywhere you look (there's a heart, there's a heart). [I didn't intend to make a Full House reference but once I wrote "everywhere you look" my mind started singing the Full House song like it was a natural reflex.]
ReplyDeleteAnd for good measure, Eric Roberts shows up too. He's the other person that I think randomly shows up everywhere (especially on Julia's coattails. BOOM!).
I'm glad you liked my crazy scenario!